This is my confessions-
Todae is tuesday. Schooling. And syasya ran 2.4km todae.
Yeye i managed to clock 12:46. ((: Tiring though.
At recess, i saw sayng dearest. Cut his queue. Haha.
Smell him. Nice. Nice. I loike. ((:
Tok to him. Laugh. Laugh. Shiok. Miss dier uh freaK!
Anw, lucky i was not late fer skewl. I was selekeh lor.
Hair messy. Shict untucked.
Skali. Sayang dearest was behind me.
Malu. Oh shit! Grrr..
Get to see him though.((:
Oh ya. Sya studied in lib after skewl.
I did have a nice tok with faddie.
After soo long being kept within me.
At last it has been told.
I feel much much better.
Though im guilty to tell my private life to sum1.
But syasya tak lei take it any longer. )):
I may look happy, cheerful and stuffs.
But do not be deceived by my cheerfulness.
I just do not want to trouble pple.
And dun want pple to noe my pathetic story. )):
Thx k faaddie.
I almost break down just now. Tsk. Tsk.
Thinking about MY new life.
Tsk. Tsk.
Okay. Tis entry will be long. But syasya reall feel bad. Sad cum watever laa..
But dada admitted tt im strong now. Unlike in the past. I dont loike my life now. )):
Sometimes. Retributions do happened. I believed in tt. Cause i am the victim of retribution at tis point if time in ma lyf. Let me tok about my relationship with sum1. Hmm. Asal ehk. We are not like other pple. Contact pn not cam matair. Bebual ble kite together aje shiok. Most of the time, we tak kluar. Da laa. Syasya tak nk sae byk byk, If he were to come across tis blog, he will feel bad. And i dun wan to be the cause of it. Sori okay. And fad. Tell me. How should i overcome tis. Ya. I find it immature. But. But. Wat am i to do. Grr. I hate them. I hate them. So influential. Hes a good boi. I noe. I tink. Matair mane tak rase disturbed sei. )): Im sad laa having to lead my life with tis. I dont want to put an end to it. No! We tak buat any wrongs. We tak pernah gaduh. Till now laa. Everytym. Hapi. Hapi. But syasya just hope some of the things can change sei. Its not fair. Not fair. I learnt from my mistakes. ASal kene balek kat syasya. )): Okay im complaining about my life. But i dun want tis retribution. ANd syasya tak salah kan die. But i dun wan sei kite prolong like tis.. Grr. Its like. Im the alwaes one yang have to wait. I got patience too... )): But syasya admit tt im soo HAPI wen he bside me. Fun. Super fun. But if hes not. Its like. I dont noe him. He dont noe me. Da laa. Freak laa. Watever it is, syasya still love him. Syasya still miss him. Hes still my sayang dearest. No high hopes. But dere is still hopes. I hope tt kite will be fine. No. WE are fine. But ntah laa.. Hard to explain.
Syasya feell soooo dissapointed.
If not, he msged fad to ask me if i want to go study not.
I told him laa my whereabouts.
And ajak him studied together.
Da hapi. Hapi.
Tot can study together.
Skali last minute he said he cant.
Slalu. Last minute. Cancel.
Hopes been lifted. But crashed in a minute.
Argh! Hate tt feelling.
Sya hate it.
Mean it uh if u said it.
Not being demanding.
But sya dissapointed.
Not once. Twice. Ntah ehk bape kali. )):
And sya got tis feeling.
I shared tis with fad.
Sometimes. I feel its unfair.
Maybe he oni cari me wen his fwens all got plans.
If they got no plans. he hangs ard with dem.
Soo i feel like being used.
They takde, find me, They ade, ferget me.
)):
Dunnoe y i feel tis wae.
Is it true? Hup not laa..
Not fai. Not fair.
To me, hes a priority. But i dun feel tt im being prioritised. )):
Well tts wat i felt.
Grr. I want him to feel how i felt now. Benn nearly 2 months maybe.
Sya suffer in silenced.
Fafad and abg wawal slalu kate im hapi.
Yea, im hapi. But my sadness. u all never see. )):
I cannot compare kan.
Abg wawal . sayang dearest.
Both are nice. Super nice. ((:
I do missssss the time wen syasya ngan abg wawal. Super miss.
Not the tym wen kwn. But being his gal. Tsk. Tsk. )':
Im sori k dearest sayang. I write wat i felt.
I still remember those moments wen kiter 24/7 together.
And i meant 24/7 sei. . . We oni separate ble nak balek. If not ll de wae together.
How i miss those time.
Sometimes,i regret. Y kite break. But no use crying over split milk.
Fer the 2nd tym, he asked fer it.
And syasya tak dare to fell the same wae again. Enuf all the pain.
I miss nurul. I miss the swimmimg outings.
I miss kak along. I miss kak ina. i miss abg FARID. I miss Cik Sal.
Though im not close with him. I find him the same as my abg nizam.
Tts y i feel abg farid is like my abg. But dream on okay.
I miss my abg nizam alot. Sobz.
See. Abg wawal. Noez everything.
Tapi kite terpisah. )':
"Bukan aku yang mengundangkan pertemuan." Blablabla.
Sad. Sad. But face it k sya.
He noes all my problems till now. That includes some of my family problems.
Hapi Advanced Bdae okay abg wawal?
And if eu read tis. Argh! Nothing laa.
Im listening to that bukan aku yg mengundang song. Sad.
Klaa. Watever. I just hope tt me and sayang dearest can change towards the better.
But i still love him. I still do.
Me and abg wawal is in the past.
But still sumwhere in my heart.
But ive accepted it.
Now= me and dearest sayang..
Okay laa. My irritating sis beside me.. Cb..!!Freaking shit uh she.
Nyenyenye. Babi. Memekak sak ye pompan!! Tata.
One dae i change the font colour okay. The sibuk gal is here..
``Syasya-
